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Bureaucrat Bourguignon (a.k.a. All-Star Politico Stew)

A luxuriously decadent stew, slow-braised in red wine and irony, served candlelit alongside a fine Burgundy because accountability pairs best with oak notes. Rich, tender, and finally useful, the entrée is presented with all the elegance usually reserved for people who’ve never earned it. Best enjoyed slowly, preferably while discussing term limits.
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Prep Time 2 days 30 minutes
Cook Time 2 hours 30 minutes
Servings: 4 people
Course: Main Course
Cuisine: French
Ingredients Equipment Method Video

Ingredients
  

The Star of the Show
  • 3 lbs well-marbled old politician cubed like stew beef — Substitute beef if politician is out of season.
Marinade Magic
  • 3 cups red wine Burgundy or whatever’s in the cabinet
  • 2 onions thinly sliced
  • 2 carrots chopped
  • 2 tbsp brandy for character
  • 1 clove garlic crushed
  • 10 peppercorns
  • 1 bay leaf & fresh parsley
Bourguignon Base
  • 4 tbsp olive oil to coat the outrage
  • ¼ lb bacon cubed (because flavor)
  • 2 more onions chopped
  • 3 tbsp flour for thickening and bureaucracy
  • 1 tbsp tomato paste
  • 1 10.5 oz can beef broth
  • Salt & pepper to taste keep it balanced
  • 4 tbsp butter
  • 1 lb mushrooms sliced (adds some earthiness — unlike a campaign promise)

Equipment

  • 1 Dutch Oven 4 to 6 litre

Method
 

Marinate That Politician (or beef)
  1. In a big bowl, combine red wine, onions, carrots, brandy, garlic, peppercorns, parsley, and bay leaf. Add the old politician cubes and let soak in their own spin for 2 days in the fridge so they absorb all those rich flavors.
  2. Tip: If they still resist flavor after 48 hours, consider extra wine or longer debates.
Brown the Meat (Metaphor Optional)
  1. Preheat oven to 300°F (150°C).
  2. Remove the politician from the marinade, pat dry, and brown in olive oil in batches — this gets them looking crispy on the outside (while their policies remain tender inside).
Layer the Flavor
  1. Cook bacon until lightly browned. Deglaze the skillet with a splash of reserved marinade — scrape up all the charred bits of old campaign slogans. Throw in onions and carrots, then stir in flour and tomato paste.
Combine & Bake
  1. Add the reserved marinade, beef broth, salt and pepper. Whisk till smooth, then pour over politico pieces in your baking dish. Pop it in the oven for ~3 hours until tender and tastefully resigned.
Final Touch: Mushrooms
  1. Sauté mushrooms in butter for a few minutes until golden, then fold into the stew just before serving. This represents the mushrooming issues that simply can’t be ignored.

Video